


First Love Experience

by oppadeulbutt



Category: GOT7
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Bestfriend!Markbum, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-22
Updated: 2017-02-23
Packaged: 2018-09-26 07:58:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,349
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9874652
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oppadeulbutt/pseuds/oppadeulbutt
Summary: Even if Mark knew he was going to regret it, he did it anyway. There was nothing more important for him than this. Nothing more important than saving his own wounded heart even though he knew this would only gave him new wounds, my heart is already too broken anyway, he thought.So he did it.





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> This is the result of staying up late plus mellow songs plus rain.
> 
> Unbeta-ed, English isn't my first language.
> 
> By the way, this is based on true story. Enjoy
> 
> And do comment please.

“Well, sucks. We’re no longer classmate.” Jaebum said in the middle of lunch time. It’s the first day of their last year of high school.

 

“Like you really regret it, dude.” Mark answered while biting his apple.

 

“Of course. Who’s gonna cover me up when I’m asleep in the middle of class?!”

 

“Try being independent then.” Mark answered with a shrug.

 

“You really want to get rid of me, don’t you?”

 

“Don’t be dramatic, Jae. We’re still in the same school and I’m sure you’ll find someone who will do that for you, the _most-bitch-faced-but-handsome-senior_. I’m sure all the girls, even _boys_ in your class more than willingly to do that.”

 

“Stop calling me that, you brat!” Jaebum threw a fries at his _ex-classmate-slash-friend_.

 

“I’m just stating the fact, and stop throwing food like that!” Mark slapped Jaebum arm hard enough.

 

“Yes, _Mother_.”

 

They bickered like a couple until the bell rang reminding them that the break was over. They walk together to their respective class, still bickering of course. It was always like that when they were together. But when they separated, Mark usually stayed quite. He was a shy boy actually, but with Jaebum, he seemed to talk a lot more.

 

They were a classmate in their second year. Actually, Mark didn’t even know there was a student named Jaebum Im in his school. It was until their homeroom teacher did the attendance absence that made Mark knew Jaebum. And within a week, they managed to be friend.

 

Long story short, they became a close friend, not really close yet for them to exchange personal life stories, but close enough to hangout together or text each other about school works. Or, more like Jaebum who would always texted Mark about school works. Mark was a smart and diligent student. He was a perfectionist type of a student who would slumped over a test that marked with ‘90’ as score. And that personality of Mark would always be weird for Jaebum because, well, even got a 70 score for his test was a blessing.

 

 _“You got 90 and you’re moping around like a kid who lost his puppy. What will you do when you get 70 like me huh?”_ , those remarks from Jaebum would always answered with Mark slapped Jaebum’s arm and said _“I’m not moping!”_.

 

They arrived in front of Mark’s class when Jaebum asked Mark what would he do after school.

 

“I promise to help Ms. Brigitte with all the preparation for ASC, why?”

 

“What’s ASC?”

 

“The skill competition that our school join in.”

 

“Eww, stuck with Ms. B for hours, I’d rather get locked up in a toilet then spending time with her.”

 

“Show some respect, dude.”

 

“Oooooh, _forever-teachers-favorite-student_ Mark.” That earned Jaebum a smack on the back of his head, and Mark just walked inside his class like nothing happened. He heard Jaebum yelled _see you later_ and proceed to walk to his class at the second floor. Mark had a small smiled when he sat down on his seat at the third row, the third table from the front. He was about to open his bag when he heard his name being called.

 

“Hey, Mark.”

 

“Oh, hi Yugyeom.” Mark knew Yugyeom from his English class last year.

 

“Mind if I sit here?” he pointed a seat beside Mark’s.

 

“Yeah of course. Nice to see you again, Yugyeom.”

 

“Same here. Actually I saw at lunch, I want to say hi but I saw you bickering with JB so I just left.”

 

“Why didn’t you just come? It’s not like I have a serious conversation between me and Jaebum.”

 

“Just didn’t want to interrupt.” Yugyeom said it with a knowing look on his face.

 

“Oh please, here we start again.” Mark just rolled his eyes and went back to his bag and got ready for the class.

 

Yugyeom was not the only one that gave him that look. Most of their classmate actually thought that Jaebum and him was a couple. Every time a conversation like this happened, Mark just shrugged it off. He was just tired of explaining things to them, and Jaebum didn’t seem like bothered by it so he just let them be.

 

***

 

School went well and without Mark realized, it was already midterms week. He and Jaebum seemed to get closer to each other. Sometimes in the evening or when Mark was getting ready for bed, Jaebum texted him about random things. Like when Jaebum’s house went blackout because of the heavy rain.

 

From: Jaebongi~

Hey, your house ok?

 

To: Jaebongi~

Yes, why?

 

From: Jaebongi~

Mine’s blackout

 

To: Jaebongi~

Next time don’t forget to tell your parent to pay the bill

 

From: Jaebongi~

It’s bcs of the rain you prick

 

To: Jaebongi~

Tell the rain to stop then

 

From: Jaebongi~

Well thanks for helping

 

Mark could imagined Jaebum scoffed in his mind.

 

To: Jaebongi~

Go to sleep Jae

 

From: Jaebongi~

Why? Is princess all ready for bed?

 

To: Jaebongi~

Ofc, princess needs beauty sleep

 

From: Jaebongi~

Sleep tight princess

 

Mark fell asleep with something buzzing in his heart. And the next morning when he woke up, those buzzing feeling was still there.

 

And it never left his heart since that morning.

 

***

 

Mark wasn’t stupid, he knew what was happening to him, but he tried to ignore it. he didn’t even sure he was capable of feeling this.

 

Mark never had a date, yeah, never, but that didn’t mean Mark had no clue about dating. It was because some of his friends came to him to talk. Mark was a listener, and that’s why his friends came to him to talk when they had a problem, mostly about relationship. He didn’t even sure about the comments he gave to his friends were satisfying or not because he himself had no experience in dating.

 

Usually Mark would just be there and listened to his friends’ stories. There was even one time when he was woken up in the middle of a night because of his phone ringing. It was Yugyeom who called him. When he picked up, all he heard was sobs, and he just stayed there leaning on his bed while listening to Yugyeom’s crying for almost five minutes. After he heard all of the stories, he would give his comment, or advice, his friends said, based on the facts that happened. And usually, it would left with whoever that came to Mark saying a lot of thank you and a better feeling.

 

Even since, Mark was used to his friends came to him for advice, about literally everything. But Mark never thought that Jaebum was also came to him asking for advice, especially about relationship.

 

Mark just got back home when he felt his phone buzzed. He went to his room upstairs, got rid of his uniform and changed. He collapsed on his bed, face buried in his pillow. Final exams were around the corner so all the third year seniors got additional class for final exam preparation. He reached his hand to find his uniform pants and got his phone from his back pocket. One message from Jaebum. Mark never felt as giddy as this before when he received a text from Jaebum, never since that _sleep tight princess_ text.

 

From: jaebongi~

You home yet? I wanna ask you smtg

 

To: jaebongi~

Just arrived, what?

 

From: jaebongi~

You know youngjae right?

 

Mark remembered Jaebum had a friend name Youngjae.

 

To: jaebongi~

The youngjae from your music class?

 

From: jaebongi~

Not that one, the new vocal in my band, first year

 

To: jaebongi~

Aaah, the new topic of your interest these days?

 

Mark felt a dull ache in his heart. Jaebum had been talking about the kid ever since that kid joined the school’s band where Jaebum played as a bassist, as a new vocalist, about two months ago. That kid was Youngjae Choi, a first year student. Mark had met him. He was a nice kid with beautiful voice. And Jaebum had been talking about this Youngjae kid since then.

 

From: jaebongi~

Whatever..

Tmr is his bday, I wanna give him smtg

and myb confess

 

The dull ache now became a little bit too much when he read the word _confess_.

 

To: jaebongi~

Ah, surprise him by confessing? How sweet..

 

From: jaebongi~

Shut up mark, im nervous okay

I don’t even know if he likes me that way

I mean, yes we text each other and I even

walk him home but I don’t know

 

This text was the longest text Jaebum sent to him in his entire life. And the fact that Jaebum was talking about his plan on confessing to Youngjae made Mark’s heart felt something, pain. He didn’t respond for about 5 minutes. He just lied there on his bed looking at the ceiling. _Ah, so this is it_ , Mark thought, _this is how it feels like_.

 

Mark never had a relationship or fell in love before, but Mark knew what a heart broken felt like now. He didn’t even realized that he felt something towards Jaebum. Well, he did feel it, but he was just too stubborn to admit. _He’s your best friend, Mark_ , he talked to himself.

 

He felt his phone buzzed again.

 

From: jaebongi~

Mark, you there?

 

Mark took a deep breath before starting to type a reply. He type what a best friend would say in a situation like this. He ignored the pain in his chest and sent it.

 

To: jaebongi~

Even me, who just hear about him

from your stories can guess that

he likes you too, man up and tell him,

bring him to eat or smtg, or give him

that dog collar he wants for his dog

tell him before you regret it..

 

 _Tell him before you regret it_. Mark replied these words in his mind.

 

From: jaebongi~

Wow thanks mark, you read my mind btw

I already bought that dog collar for Coco

I just hope tmr go well, I’ll treat you

dinner next time

 

To: jaebongi~

If tmr goes well, dinner will be reserved

for him only so change it to lunch and

my chemical romance new album, I’m waiting

 

From: jaebongi~

Lol you’re right, its deal then, pray for me

before you go to sleep, night markie

 

And Mark did pray for Jaebum. _Please let him be happy_.


	2. Chapter Two

God did answer his pray, but not for a long time. Jaebum and Youngjae broke up a month later. Jaebum said that it was Youngjae’s choice.

 

“He said that he was far more comfortable at being friend with me, and he wishes to stay like that.” Jaebum was sat beside him on Mark’s bed, head leaning on the pillow he set behind him, eyes closed.

 

Mark didn’t know what to say so he just gave a hum signaling him that he’s listening.

 

“Actually I already notice. He changed a bit after a week we’ve been together. I just thought maybe he is still adjusting, having a boyfriend and all those dating things. I never ask about it, I just let him be. And then today’s happen.” Youngjae asked Jaebum to break up this afternoon when lunch break.

 

Mark tilted his head to look at Jeabum. He still had his eyes closed, but a small smile on his lips. “Why are you smiling? Wait, you’re not going nuts, are you?”

 

Jaebum laughed at Mark’s respond and opened his eyes to look back at Mark, “it’s just a crush, Markie, and if we’re talking about being nuts, we both now I’ve always been since I knew you in second year.” Jaebum ruffled Mark’s hair and Mark slapped his hand.

 

“You think? But why do I think it’s the other way around? You made me go nuts!”

 

“I know, but you love me anyway.” Jaebum reached for Mark’s again but Mark dodged it and glared at him.

 

“Go home now before I throw your bags outside.” Mark stood up and and walked to where Jaebum put his bag. But before he reached it, Jaebum snatched his bag and proceed downstairs while yelling _see you later, Markie_.

 

***

 

Mark sat on the floor in his floor leaning on his bed, knees bent to his chest.

 

 _But you love me anyway_.

 

There was a book opened in front of him. His English notes that Jaebum borrowed and just returned it to him this morning. On the last page of his notes, he recognized his friend’s handwriting.

 

It was a lyrics of The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus’ song, Your Guardian Angel. Mark had listened to this song as Jaebum always sang it in front of him, he said it was his favorite song that time. That time when he was still dating Youngjae. And now, this song had become Mark’s favorite.

 

_When I see your smile_

_Tears run down my face, I can’t replace_

_And now that I’m strong I have figured out_

_How this world turns cold and it breaks through my soul_

_And I know I’ll find deep inside me I can be the one_

_I will never let you fall_

_I’ll stand up with you forever_

_I’ll be there for you through it all_

_Even if saving you sends me to heaven_

_It’s okay, it’s okay, it’s okay_

_Seasons are changing_

_And waves are crushing_

_And stars are falling all for us_

_Days grow longer and nights grow shorter_

_I can show you I’ll be the one_

_I will never let you fall_

_I’ll stand up with you forever_

_I’ll be there for you through it all_

_Even if saving you sends me to heaven_

_‘Cause you’re my, you’re my, my,_

_My true love, my whole heart_

_Please don’t throw that away_

_‘Cause I am here for you_

_Please don’t walk away_

_Please tell me you’ll stay_

_Use me as you will_

_Pull my strength just for a thrill_

_And I know I’ll be okay_

_Though my skies are turning gray_

_I will never let you fall_

_I’ll stand up with you forever_

_I’ll be there for you through it all_

_Even if saving you sends me to heaven_

 

At the end of the lyrics, Mark found Jaebum’s scribbled _Youngjae_ with a ‘love’ sign.

 

***

 

So that’s how Mark finally realized that he was in love with his best friend, Jaebum. And of course, he did nothing about it. He fell deeper everyday, because Jaebum was with him everyday at school, or at each other house after school, and they still texting about random things before they went to sleep.

 

Final exams had passed. Now the seniors had free time until the graduation day. But they still have to go to school because they still had their attendance recorded. One day at their school canteen, Jaebum asked Mark to accompany him went to the university that he would enrolled.

 

“Come with me later. I just want to take a look at their programs.” Jaebum said.

 

“My dear-stupid-friend, Jaebum, why bother go there when you can find all the info on internet? Just browse it.”

 

“Ah, you’re right. I’ll do that.”

 

“I’m always right.”

 

“But you still come with me.”

 

“Treat me something delicious.”

 

“When have I never treat you, you brat.”

 

After school, they went to an internet café near their school. Mark just sat there eating his snack while Jaebum browsing about some universities he had interest in.

 

“You have a plan for college?” Jaebum asked.

 

“Nope. Don’t wanna be a burden any longer. You know I didn’t come from a rich family.”

 

“So you’ll find a job?”

 

“I already working on it, find a job, the safest choice is my intern company last year. But I have not contacted them yet.”

 

“Don’t you wanna go to college?”

 

“I want, Jae, but the circumstances right now don’t let me do that. Maybe after I find a job and save money, I’ll go. Maybe in a year or two.”

 

“Can you just try the scholarship thing? I found that the university I’m interested provide that.”

 

“Awwwww, you really don’t want to be separated with me, do you?”

 

“Whatever, Mark, but I’m serious here.” Jaebum tore his gaze from the screen and looked at Mark, who had a smile on his face.

 

“I know, Jae, thank you for your concern but, I’ll be fine, really.” Mark just smiled at Jaebum and tore his gaze from him and pointed the screen. “You got what you need?” Mark swiftly changed the topic.

 

“Yeah, I’m done. Let’s go.”

 

Jaebum went to pay while Mark went to the door but froze. It was raining.

 

“Well, shit. I don’t have an umbrella.” Mark cursed.

 

“Me too.” Jaebum said. He then looked to his left and saw that the bus stop wasn’t that far from their place, but also not close either, enough to make them soaked even if they ran there. Jaebum stilled in his place and Mark noticed what was Jaebum looking at. And Mark could read what Jaebum thought. Just when Jaebum turned his gaze at Mark, Mark already smiling at him, and Jaebum knew that they had a same thought.

 

“On three,” Jaebum said while smiling, and that made Mark felt dizzy.

 

They counted together and on ‘three’, they both ran towards the bus stop. Five steps and they already completely soaked by the rain. They ran together while laughing and spraying water to each other. People were looking at them but they didn’t care. They arrived at the bus stop shortly after. It was empty. And they couldn’t stop laughing at each other.

 

 _I’m going to miss this_ , Mark suddenly thought. He was staring at Jaebum. His smile, his laughter, his presence, Mark knew that he would missed all of it. he came back from his trance when Jaebum poked his cheeks and pointed at the bus coming. Mark just smiled back.

 

He was about to say good bye when Jaebum held his wrist and pulled him inside the bus. Jaebum. Mark just followed him confusedly and sat on the seat where Jaebum pointed, and Jaebum sat beside him. Mark still had that confused look on his face when Jaebum looked at him.

 

“Crash at my place for a bit, we need to change clothes soon, and my place is nearer.” Jaebum just said that nonchalantly.

 

 _Ah, that_. “Yeah, okay. I’m freezing anyway.”

 

20 minutes later, they already laying down on Jaebum’s bed, with fresh clothes, and hot chocolate on their hand. Jaebum lent Mark his sweater and sweatpants. It was a little too big on Mark, but it looked comfy. And Mark just felt dizzy because the clothes smelled like Jaebum, it made his head spin.

 

Jaebum noticed Mark’s frowned, “are you okay? Want me to get you meds or something?”

 

“No, no. I’m okay. Just sleepy, I think. I’m always sleepy when I come to your house.” He put his mug on the bedside table and began to yawn.

 

“Go to sleep then.” Jaebum stood up and walked to the door.

 

“Where are you going?”

 

“Put our clothes in the dryer. Want something to eat?”

 

“Nope, I’m good.” Mark heard Jaebum muttered an _okay_ and the door clicked shut. Mark found a comfortable position and slowly drifted of to sleep. The pillow also smelled like Jaebum, his head still spinning.

 

Mark felt the bed dipped beside him. He knew it was Jaebum. Mark stayed still, and not long after he heard the soft breathing beside him. Jaebum was asleep beside him, leaving some space between them. Mark managed a small smile and went back to sleep.

 

Mark woke up to the sound of Jaebum playing his guitar on the floor. Jaebum saw him sat on the bed while rubbing the sleepiness from his eyes.

 

“Did I wake you up? Sorry.” Jaebum smiled at him. Mark felt dizzy again.

 

“No prob. What time is it? Mom must be freaking out.”

 

“It’s 7 now,” Jaebum said while looking at the clock hung on the wall, “and don’t worry, your mother already called earlier.”

 

“WHAT?!” Mark shouted and looked at the clock, it showed 7:14 pm. Mark began to stand and walk around to find his belonging. Jaebum just looked at him and when Mark attempted to walk near him, he pulled Mark to sit down in front of him.

 

Jaebum looked at Mark in disbelieved, his right hand still holding Mark’s wrist, “you’re not a stranger, Markie, and tomorrow is weekend, stay a little bit for dinner. My mom already made a promise to your mom that she will take care of you here.”

 

“Well, yeah, okay,” he pulled his wrist from Jaebum’s hold, “why didn’t you wake me up earlier by the way?”

 

Jaebum began to play again, “you look like you need it.”

Mark sat there in front of Jaebum, crossing his legs and listened to Jaebum singing to My Chemical Romance’s song, Sleep. He loved to hear him singing. Jaebum had a great voice. Jaebum started to sing Your Guardian Angel. Mark just sat there looking at him like a fool while tried hard to not to burst into tears. He realized once again that he fell in love, hard, with his best friend.

 

Jaebum didn’t stop playing his guitar and singing, even after four or five songs, not like what Mark wanted him to stop either. Sometimes Mark joined him, singing a part that he knew, and Jaebum would smiled at him and they sang together.

 

It’s when Jaebum’s mother knocked on the door and opened it when they stop singing. “Sorry to disturb, boys, but dinner’s ready. Let’s eat first and you can continue playing.” Jaebum’s mother smiled and closed the door.

 

They finished eating dinner and went back to Jaebum’s room. Mark started packing his belongings, his uniform was already folded neatly.

 

“Are you going home now?” Jaebum asked while putting his guitar back in it’s case and put it on his bed.

 

“Yeah.” Mark answered simply and went to grab his uniform and headed to the bathroom.

 

“Don’t need to change. You can give it back sometime later.” Jaebum pointed at his clothes that Mark wore.

 

They walked together to the bus stop near Jaebum’s house. Jaebum insisted on walked Mark to the bus stop because Mark rejected Jaebum’s offer to drive him home.

 

They arrived and Jaebum waited until the bus coming. There was silence between them, a comfortable one, but Mark decided to break it, “thanks for today, Jae, I had fun.”

 

Jaebum turned to look at him and smiled, “of course, you slept like a log on my bed.”

 

Mark smiled sheepishly, “I’m sorry.”

 

Jaebum laughed at that. “It’s okay, Markie. When will we able to do this again, huh? Maybe later I will be busy with my college and you are busy with your work.”

 

Mark looked at the sky. “Time fly so fast, yeah. I felt like it was just yesterday that I started being a high school student, and now we’re already talking about college and work.”

 

Mark looked back at Jaebum when Jaebum didn’t answer back, and surprised that Jaebum also looked back at him, with a serious face. “Promise me we will keep contact.”

 

“Yeah, of course, Jae.” And the bus came.

 

Mark sat beside the window and gave a wave for Jaebum who muttered _be careful_ and waved back.

 

That day will never be forgotten by Mark.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more chapter left.
> 
> Should I post it now too?


	3. Chapter Three

Today was the graduation day. They gathered in the hall. After all the formal event done, now it was time for students’ performances. Mark just arrived at the backstage when he spotted Jaebum getting ready with his band mates. They will perform today. Mark called him and waved, Jaebum smiled and walked to him with his bass.

 

“Good luck today. You forget this,” Mark gave him his favorite water bottle. Jaebum’s face lighten up.

 

“Oh my goodness I’ve been looking for this. Thanks, Markie.” He took the bottle, “you’ll be there right?”

 

“Of course. Will never missed my best friend’s performance for everything. I’ll record it.” Mark waving his pocket camera in front of them.

 

“Okay, see you later, Mark.” Jaebum went back to his band mates and Mark went back to his seat, getting ready to record their performance.

 

They met again at the school canteen after Jaebum’s performance. Mark just came back from the restroom and sat on of the table and began replaying his video. The video was a full shot of the band but sometimes he would shot them one by one, and of course, shot a little longer at Jaebum.

 

Mark felt a presence in front of him and saw Jaebum smiling at him. Still covered in thin sweat because of the performance. A small towel hung around his neck and his water bottle already on the table. Mark turned his camera at him, switched it to camera mode and snapped a picture.

 

Jaebum’s eyes went wide, “did you just a photo of me?”

 

Mark smiled and turned his camera for Jaebum to look at the photo, “it’s good, right? I think I have a talent in photography.”

 

Jaebum scoffed at that. “sometimes, it’s not the camera or the person that take a picture, but the object.”

 

Mark just mumbled _whatever_ and went back to his camera, looking at all the photos he took that day. And suddenly Jaebum took his camera and moved to sit beside Mark. “Let’s take a photo together.”

 

They spent 15 minutes taking photos together, from normal poses, silly, and even weird. They took a look at each photos and began laughing when they saw the silly one.

 

They agreed to go ate dinner together. Today was the last day for them as a high school student. Tomorrow they didn’t have to go to school anymore, and they wouldn’t have seeing each other as often as before. Jaebum had been busy preparing for his college entrance test. And Mark busy looking for a job.

 

They ate and hangout for a bit in the café near Mark’s house. and without they realized, it’s already 10 pm and they finally said goodbye. They waited at the bus stop, and Mark’s bus came first. He stood up and looked at Jaebum for the last time that night and suddenly Jaebum hugged him. It’s two seconds after that when Mark started to hug Jaebum back. They let go of each other when the bus came to a stop.

 

“See you soon, Markie”

 

“See you soon, Jae.”

 

Mark sat down, and the bus drive off.

 

***

 

It had been 5 months but they still didn’t see each other. College year was already started. And Mark also started his freshman year as a college student. apparently, his parents wanted him to go to college and said that he didn’t have to think about anything else beside his study.

 

Jaebum and Mark still texted each other. Mark texted Jaebum and told him that he would be going to college too because his parents asked him to. Jaebum felt glad and ask Mark to enroll to his college but Mark said he already accepted in another university, with a good scholarship program. Jaebum was disappointed a bit but still congratulating Mark anyway. They promised each other that they would meet soon when they both had time.

 

So they started to walk on their own path. Jaebum choose a Film major when Mark choose Hotel Management. They had been busied with their new environment, new friends, and tight schedules. They still texted each other but less than usual.

 

Their text usually when they have a break, and fortunately, they had same break period so they didn’t have to wait long for a reply. And text again when they were back at their dorm until it was time to go to sleep.

 

But now, they waited for the reply a little bit longer. And now, their text that usually ended with _good night, Jae_ and _nighty night princess_ when they ready for bed changed to _sorry mark, im hanging out with friends rn_ or _im doing an assignment jae, sorry_.

 

And Mark knew that. Mark knew that they would never be the same anymore. But one thing for sure that Mark knew would still be the same.

 

His feeling for Jaebum would never changed anytime soon.

 

And with this _growing apart_ case that happened between them, it was the time when Mark missed Jaebum so much. Everyday he always waited Jaebum texted him or replied his last text. And everyday, the wait become longer. And that made Mark missed Jaebum more.

 

He knew he fell too hard for him, and he could not do anything about that. All he could do was just sitting in his room while thinking about their old times together. His laugh, his smile, his weird antics, his voice, his everything, and Mark felt like he was going crazy. Every now and then, when he missed him, he would broke down and cried. Because, he could not do anything but cried. He cried his heart out every night thinking about him. He felt frustrated by his feeling. He felt like he might blew up.

 

***

 

It was one Friday night when Mark had just stop crying is heart out. He could not do this anymore, crying himself to sleep every night because of his unspokeable feeling for Jaebum. He needed to do something.

 

He had been looking at the unsent text in his phone. He had been thinking about should he send it or not. After debating with his inner self, he did it.

 

Even if Mark knew he was going to regret it, he did it anyway. There was nothing more important for him than this. Nothing more important than saving his own wounded heart even though he knew this would only gave him new wounds, _my heart is already too broken anyway_ , he thought.

 

So he did it. He put his phone back after he saw that the message had been sent, beside him on his bed where he lied, looking at his ceiling. For the first time since their farewell at the bus stop, Mark felt like he finally could breath properly. He felt like a huge rock had been lifted from his heart and he felt relieved.

 

The reply didn’t came as fast as he wanted to but he knew it anyway. He even felt like didn’t care much what would he get as a respond. He looked back at his phone and opened his message that he sent to him.

 

To: jaebongi~

Hey, I know its so sudden and out of

topic but I really need to tell you this

I like you, Jaebum, a lot, you don’t

need to answer anything, I just wanna

let you know, that’s all

 

It was about 30 minutes later when Mark got a text. He felt his phone buzzed and he didn’t hesitated to open it. he already knew the answer anyway.

 

From: jaebongi~

Since when?

 

To: jaebongi~

I didn’t even know when it start, when

you told me you’re gonna confess to

youngjae I think, that’s when I realized

I felt something for you

 

From: jaebongi~

Why me?

 

To: jaebongi~

How did I know that? its not like I choose

whom I fall in love with, its just happen

 

From: jaebongi~

I’m so sorry Mark

 

_Yeah, there it is._

 

To: jaebongi~

You don’t need to, I told you this bcs

I just need to tell you, I need to let go

of this feeling before I blow up, sorry

if I disturbed you or smtg, good night Jae

 

From: jaebongi~

Good night Mark

 

And that was their last text.

 

***

 

It had been 8 years since he confessed to Jaebum, and Mark was no where near move on from him.

 

And Mark knew, that his feelings for Jaebum wasn’t just a crush or a fling.

 

Jaebum was his first love, and Mark knew that he would never moved on from him until Mark fell in love, again. He didn’t even sure if he would fell in love again like how he fell in love for Jaebum.

 

Until then, Jaebum would always held a special place in Mark’s heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's done. thanks for whoever reading this, hope you like it :)  
> all things that happen in the story are real, except the cast of course lol  
> do leave comment or kudos..


End file.
